If you feel stuck in a pattern, welcome to humanity. We all get stuck in ruts.
Did you grow up watching your parents struggle to make ends meet? Did you grow up afraid to ask for things in fear you’d be told no? Were you told to stick by family no matter what, even if they are abusive or if “sticking by” turns into enabling? Did you have a family where someone or something would be stable for a while, but then suddenly the rug would get pulled out from under you and chaos would reign for some time? (Like an alcoholic parent that would go back and forth through sobriety, or a caretaker that would get themselves in trouble and lose their source of income suddenly)? Were you often warned (with the best intentions) not to get “too” comfortable because life could change suddenly?
One can be too stable, or stuck in a rut or pattern. Being unable to find a constant sense of security can be a pattern in which we get stuck, too! Much of this has to do with our beliefs about how we “should be”. We struggle with our right to be here, to be comfortable, to be safe.
Much of this causes anxiety, because we tend to believe that if we get A, we will be better. If B happens, we’ll be happy. When C comes to fruition, I’ll be stable. This type of thinking keeps us relying on things outside of ourselves for security.
You must find a way to ground through yourself. How can you do this? Take your current situation. Appreciate what life affords you at this present moment. Then, put energy into what you want more of – is it truly necessary to be happy? It’s probably not, but now check to see if deep down you really believe you DESERVE it. What is preventing you from getting a promotion, changing careers, making more money, living in a better home, having healthy relationships?
Only you know these answers. But generally, if we don’t genuinely feel like we deserve something, we create a barrier between ourselves and its acquisition.
You have to clean your roots and see where your mindset may have gotten stuck in your childhood. Think about your influences. What patterns did your parents and caregivers get stuck in over and over again? What would you have suggested to them to change the patterns? How would you have encouraged them? How would you have felt if they broke out and found success in their life’s goals? Maybe your influences were very successful, but you never saw how hard they had to work to get there so you assumed it was luck.
In any case, this is all about the root chakra, which affects and is affected by the nerve plexus around the tailbone, the legs, knees, feet, and hips.
Keep reading for more articles on how to clear out habits that no longer serve you.